Alone..

Lately I have been feeiling very depressed and at night I spend most of the night crying myself dry. I ask myself so many time, why the hell, he isn’t worth it!!

Why do we do this do ourselves??? Why do we think of people that want nothing to do with us?
How do we come over it.??? ..... Major question!!!!

I have a son that’s 12 going on 13, I adore him, but at his age he is more interested in being with friends his age or around the playstation. So I don't pressure him to be with me.

I have been told that alot of things that we can do helps us forget, go out catch fresh air, get together friends, join a club, etc.

Sure, sure, its seems so easy, but not its not that easy for me, has I said in a previous post, I have few friends and they are married, I can go over once or twice but then I get the feeling that I’m butting into their life with my problems, so I stop going.

So, I spend my time alone, I go out to the mall walk around buy something that I like, go for walks or a long drive and then its back home again. If I see a movie I spend most of the time crying seeing it, like I did this weekend...even if its a comedy, cause there is always something there that reminds me.

Believe me its not easy being 38 and feeling lonely….at least for me it isn’t :(